Creative Content

Have you heard of the angel of Nanjing? Click on the link to hear his story.

I studied abroad at 19 years old in Israel and the West Bank and Gaza. I just remember how vibrant and beautiful the places were that we saw in the Holy Lands.

Years have come and gone. I don’t have a side. I don’t choose one over the other. It’s not really my business. I don’t live there. I just remember meeting and connecting with good people on both sides in Jerusalem, Bethlehem, the Dead Sea region, Gaza, Ramallah, and the Golan Heights.

I’m hoping for peace for the region. I’m thinking about old teachers, colleagues from school, and roommates. I just hope tonight they are okay and safe.

I’ve been a military spouse but I hate the futility of war. Being a mother raising a son has taught me that. You spend so much time and effort raising and nurturing a child only to see the violence of war cut their life off unexpectedly. I am praying for the mothers and fathers of the deceased on both sides and just hoping for a good resolution.

Being an HR Manager for close to 10 years, you see a lot of drama and conflict in the workplace. You see all sorts of behaviors. Sometimes, someone will get real mad about a situation, often times justifiably from their perspective. They will come to my office looking for me to resolve their problem. Sometimes, it will be a situation in which one person feels unfairly treated by the other or even bullied.

The first thing we are taught is to listen, assess the situation for any major escalation, and then calmly ask the person, “Have you addressed this directly with the other person?” “Have you confronted the problem together and have you explained how it made you feel?”

Often times, they will say no. Then we calmly say, “The first step you must take is to go talk to that person directly. If this does not resolve the behavior and it continues, then come back to me for the second step.” Then you send the person back…unless there is real danger or threat to safety.

9 times out of 10, this approach is most effective in treating the issue. It also helps the person to build their own courage and stand up for themselves which is critical to their self-confidence and also their reputation and dignity in the workplace.

Sometimes, this still doesn’t work. They come back to the office for step two which involves a supervisor or manager mediating a discussion again between the two and advising them of how to act professionally in the workplace. This also is very effective usually.

However, sometimes you have quite a problem in the workplace and the third step involves either progressive documented discipline or even legal involvement. Sometimes, even a person must risk social or job loss or financial loss in order to eventually come to the table for honest dialogue. Most times, if it does involve legal assistance, it can be handled out of the courts and not escalated even further. Often times, the HR manager might want to consider offering a suggestion of private counseling to both parties. One party may feel some trauma from feeling the victim of some mistreatment in the workplace, whereas often times, the other party may experience trauma too from the subsequent anxiety of potentially facing negative workplace reaction or legal repercussions down the road. Either way, both parties are stressed out and could use some confidential private help to address their concerns. Don’t advocate for medical help but rather behavioral psychological help.

That’s how you handle it in the workplace. What about on a larger scale such as the situation that Will Smith and Chris Rock faced? The most effective conflict resolution would be the same.

1. Address the situation head on.
2. If an open dialogue does not occur, then suggest an advisor mediate.
3. If this still does not resolve issues, then consider discipline or legal assistance.
4. Once this occurs, still keep the offer on the table for both parties to come together to resolve this amicably.
5. Listen openly and objectively to the concerns of both sides.
6. Offer them both the opportunity to seek private guidance on how to handle the stress or any subsequent trauma. Unresolved trauma can lead to bad longer term impacts.
7. Try to minimize the interference of outside parties offering judgment or using the situation for their own gain down the road (such as media replaying the video over and over again or getting the opinions of a diverse group of onlookers). Just like a cop at a car crash, keep the people moving around the scene and keep things peaceful.
8. Consider the use of legal assistance to open a dialogue or as a form of future deterrence for outside parties but never use legal assistance for gross personal financial gain at the expense of the other which is a form of retribution. Personal financial gain is acceptable perhaps for defamation but gross personal financial gain can be detrimental to the future of that relationship if either party wants to continue association.
9. If violence does occur, then it is the company’s responsibility to deter future occurrences for the safety of all by releasing a statement of what behavior is and is not permitted.

A little boy found a caterpillar. He picked it up gently, marveled at it. He put it gently in a bush.

Everyday the little boy would return to the little green bush to visit the caterpillar.

Then, one day, he saw that the caterpillar was changing.

It had built a chrysalis.

The little boy continued to watch over the chrysalis. He protected it from harm.

One day, he found the chrysalis had broken and then he found the beautiful, brilliant butterfly waiting nearby. He looked at the butterfly and it gently fluttered once, twice, and then spread its wings to fly away.

A nurse took care of patients.

Everyday, he would come to visit the elderly woman. He would care for the woman, feed her, bathe her, provide for her needs.

He came back day after day to watch over and protect the little old woman.

Until one day, he came to her room to find she was not well. He still nursed her and looked after her.

She moved less and stayed to her bed. He watched her carefully and attended to her needs.

Then, one day he saw that she had passed. He sat by her bed quietly and attended to her one last time.

But like the brilliant, beautiful butterfly, she now spread her angel wings to fly gently away.

People don’t like HR. Admit it, you don’t. Nobody you know actually likes HR either. They are the lawyers of the organization and nobody likes a lawyer….that is, unless you need one to defend you.

In Dilbert cartoons, HR is the cat. Or consider Michael’s disdain for Toby.

But imagine for a moment, what you would do if HR just went “poof” and vanished? A puff of smoke and then they are gone without a trace. Or maybe they’d melt into the floor like someone Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz.

I’m sure at first, there might be a collective cheer. That lazy evil office lady or guy that no one really knows what they do…..would you even miss them for a second? Probably not at first.

But imagine the next day. Who would record your work attendance or fix your time clock or input your missed punch when you forgot to clock in? Who would do your payroll so you would get paid? Who would put your bonus in our submit your forms for family medical leave? Who would you call in to when sick? Who would fix your benefit issue or your work comp claim or file your short term disability insurance with Aflac? Who could you complain to about the bully on your shift?

And then, there’s the other stuff like who would make the company coffee or post the company newsletter or schedule the company cook-out and bring a lot of dishes? Who would say thanks to you on National Secretary day or whatever? Who would setup the company kitchen or bring donuts in for breakfast or plan the Company Olympics sporting events?

Yeah, you wouldn’t have to worry about those dumb documents to sign for the federal government or endless paperwork or stupid boring orientation classes to attend. But then, who would teach you what the rules of the company are or get you a badge or go over the organizational chart with you or explain the rules of fire safety in case the boiler downstairs explodes in a giant fireball and you’re caught in the inferno.

Admit it. You don’t like HR. But you kinda need them… a bit. They are not lazy douche bags or good for nothing losers that can’t get a job in any other department. They actually work pretty hard.

I’ve heard the complaint that HR hire people for jobs that they know nothing about…..like say engineering or welding. But did you ever consider that they are the only one filling the holes in the boat so it doesn’t sink? Or did you consider that of course they don’t know all a welder does but they are expected to know the general job descriptions of some 50 or so jobs in the company and that does technically require quite a lot of brainpower and confidence?

HR spend all day long listening to employee complaints. Come on, honestly….does anyone in your company go to the HR office to chit chat? Maybe the maintenance guy but other than that no. Face it, you show up in that door of that HR office, you and HR both know that you are only there to drop a problem in their lap. That HR person is locked in committed to 8 hours a day of fixing problems for folks that have a general disdain or even outright obvious dislike for HR.

It takes a lot of moxy to be an HR manager. They are poorly paid lawyers. Let’s be honest, as a member of the administrative staff who knows exactly everyone’s pay, HR already knows they make less money per hour than you. But they are there anyway and willing to listen to your complaint or problem and ignore your sidebar jabs about their work performance in order to get the job done and keep you happy.

HR is a thankless job.

People say they don’t contribute to the numbers or the creation of the products but I disagree for one simple reason, the word called recruitment.

What?

You honestly believe you can get out those 800 widgets in 6 hours without the necessary staff numbers to do it?

Mmm-kay. Keep believing HR people are absolutely worthless and I got some swamp land in Louisiana to sell you.