Britney Online

I began following Britney Spears on Instagram about a year ago. I don’t remember why. I think she was suggested. Her Instagram is full of light-hearted quotes, sunshiny videos with her looking pretty and offering words of positive advice, and then there’s videos of her dancing. The dance moves are energetic and talented. She looks amazingly in shape. Her house in the background looks posh. She doesn’t post negative stuff ever.

At first, I hearted a lot of her stuff. When I would see a post, I’d generally like it. But as a year went by, I started to skip over some videos. I didn’t do this in a mean spirit. I didn’t grow to dislike her at all. I think I just figured she had enough adoring fans. She didn’t need my like. And I started to dismiss her.

Dismissed. What does this action mean? I wish I had a better brain to fully analyze the psychology of dismission.

What I do know is being dismissed hurts.

Have you ever been in a job where you were dismissed? Have you ever been in a family and dismissed? What about a friend circle? Imagine it for a moment on a larger scale like celebrity.

Is dismission mean-hearted? Yes and no. I think the intention for dismission is not inherently evil. I think it is merely indifference. But it is mean. The absence of love is not hate but often indifference.

What does it mean to dismiss? Are you outright clearly disrespectful or choosing to obviously ignore? Yes and no again. Yes, you are disrespectful and ignoring another but no, your intention again is not mean-hearted and villainous.

I think dismission is even more insidious than outright dissing someone or hate. There is no clear and visible distinction so it is very difficult for the victim of dismissal to actually articulate their feelings of loneliness and isolation. They are denied their right to fight back.

I, too, know what it feels like to be dismissed. I think we all have experienced it at some point and it is not fun. I think people dismiss Britney and they have dismissed her feelings for more than a decade. How else can you explain what happened to her and what was condoned to happen with the conservatorship? The woman could run a billion dollar music empire but aparently needed others to manage her checkbook or schedule appointments for her.

I call bull.

What happened to Britney was wrong. I find it really interesting too that the majority of her Free Britney fan base has been young gay men who probably recognized in her this dismissal, someone pushed into a closet in the dark and not permitted to shine. And shine she does. Despite all that has happened to her, her posts are positive. She is a marvel to me.

I know what it feels like to feel dismissed, on the fence between outright hated or liked. It’s not fun. I have 550 posts on my Instagram with only a small group of friends and 1 or 2 likes per post. There is no return on investment of energy. And I think that is the problem with Britney. She pours out a massive amount of positivity and energy only to be met by poor return of investment. It’s hard to keep going on any endeavor when you get poor returns in the long term. Imagine if you had ten dollars and you invested it and got three dollars back again and again. Eventually there is no point in continuing. And yet Britney has and that is commendable. Think of all she went through.

So let her dance if it makes her happy. Mind your own business if you got something negative to say out of jealousy or envy. And like her posts every now and then. The woman deserves it. She’s a survivor of an unclear, passive aggressive form of abuse. I know I will be dismissed for speaking that truth but I don’t care.

https://www.regain.us/advice/psychology/what-is-psychological-invalidation-how-it-happens-and-its-effects/

Grateful

I don’t have much to post tonight. I suppose this is just a short moment when I say thanks. Thanks for reading my posts. Thanks for letting me read yours and feel a connection to things you say about your lives, poems you write, pictures you paint, or just little words of advice.

I appreciate this community of bloggers and online friends made here and there. You are a special group of creative, inspiring folks that I have come to enjoy keeping company with. I really mean that.

Thank you for the likes. Thank you for the comments. Thanks for the responses to my comments as well. I have learned quite a bit from you all and hope to continue doing so in the future.

I might not have the wittiest posts and stumble for topics to engage your attention. I might not be entertaining at times or miss the mark entirely but the blog and blogosphere is a constant in my life and my thoughts.

Starting writing and blogging has not been easy. It takes a while for creativity to start working and often I worry that things I feel and say will be misinterpreted. There is much I don’t say.

I have come to feel a better self- worth here with you. There are a few folks in my surroundings that I am certain would prefer I just hush up and not do things or say things that might embarrass them. I consider their perspectives and try my best to be inclusive and kind online.

Writing and reading your posts is what I enjoy. I like your voices and I like having a voice too no matter how small.

For much of my earlier life, others have spoken for me…sometimes in a regretful, unflattering manner that invalidated my worth as a contributor. For some of us here, I believe it takes courage to write our narrative and hit that publish button.

The blog here is just a small thing with a small handful of faithful followers but I do believe as Mother Theresa says that some of us will not be born to do big things but can do little things with great love.

On the eve of Valentine’s Day, I just wish to say I am grateful for you. You make my world brighter.

I hope tomorrow will bring you happiness and laughter with loved ones and if not, you are welcome to join me here in this heartfelt place of online colleagues.

Thank you and Happy Valentine’s Day!