16 long years. Almost as long as Joseph. A Via Dolorosa walk of shame. Mental torture. Prison bars. Lonely cell. Alone.
He prayed a lot.
Didn’t stop the bullies, didn’t stop the violence perpetrated on his soul.
16 years. He wrote in prison. Wrote alot. Read alot. When he wasn’t watching out for them. On the constant up and up. Watching everything, everyone, observing it all. He watched stabbings and betrayals. He watched yard fights and kingpins fall. He took it all in.
He didn’t join the gang. Walked the yard alone. 16 long years.
They opened the doors to the prison and finally let him out. A new gang member had tried to shiv him 2 weeks before for initiation rites.
He didn’t really know what to do at that point. Didn’t trust no one, not a single god-damned soul. Didn’t know what the lesson was in all this. It wasn’t about correction or deterrence. It was brutal.
He didn’t feel it taught him to be a better man….just a smarter one.
Joseph was supposed to get his come uppance. But him, he never got it. What was the point of all of this?
He walked down the street alone away from the toxicity and he vaguely felt that he was merely going outta the frying pan and into the fire.
Author: J. Speer
I like to write. I have 5 books currently on Amazon, mostly fiction. I try to write positive and uplifting children's stories, expressive poetry for women, and interesting articles about personal growth, alternative medicine, and spirituality. My stories are often about diverse people but with human connection in mind through inner perspective. I love my characters especially the ones from my first book, Searching for Fire.
I moved recently to Vermont. I live in the North Country region near Lake Willoughby, one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. My heart will always be with Kansas but I love travel and meeting new people with diverse perspectives on life. I have found Vermonters to have many admirable qualities like stoicism and a love and stewardship of nature.
My hobbies are writing, gardening, outdoor activities like kayaking, fishing, and hiking. I am an amateur herbalist. Many years ago, an alternative medicine doctor cured me of a respiratory illness by teaching me about vitamins and for that, I owe her a debt of gratitude.
I recently bought a Jeep Wrangler that fits my personality and love for adventure. Associated with the military in my younger years, I have lived in Israel, Germany, and Virginia as well - all of which I loved in different ways. I thoroughly believe in the military spouse phrase, "bloom where you are planted" and endeavor to carry a positive optimism wherever I roam. Most days are good but admittedly I get down sometimes. I am prone to sadness or severe cynicism at times, so I turn to music as my consolation and source of expression or inspiration. My favorite songs currently are "How Deep is Your Love" by the Beegees, "La Vie en Rose", "A Million Dreams" or maybe Karen Carpenter singing "Close to You" or Elton John singing "Your Song." I also like "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us" by Starship or "I'll Stand by You" by The Pretenders. "Faithfully" by Journey always reminds me of rollerskating with friends in the 1980s.
My favorite quotes are from the Velveteen Rabbit, Steve Jobs, and this one..."To the caterpillar it was the end of the world, but to the butterfly it was merely a beautiful beginning." Or there is the quote from Peter Pan teaching Wendy..."What if I fall? But, oh my darling, what if you fly?"
I also believe in being a pearl - graceful on the outside but full of grit and gratitude on the inside. My favorite women of the Bible are Ruth, Hannah, and Hagar.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Cheers, friend.
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