Have you ever watched a documentary on lions in the wild? How does this relate to human life?
Watch the role of the lioness.
Female lions in a pride have a certain social order that follows three basic rules. The lioness that is the lion’s favorite generally exhibits superiority in 3 traits:
1. She hunts and secures the best food.
2. She grooms herself well.
3. She is visually appealing.
I would argue after 44 years of life on this planet that these 3 rules in that specific order apply to female humans as well. We think we are evolved beyond the behaviors of beast but simplify everything and we are the same.
Prove me wrong.
A woman is generally valued in society by her ability to hunt and gather resources in the form of making money, gathering groceries, and providing for a home. Now many women possess a remarkable ability to bring in resources such as money or to nicely take care of and maintain a home but women are still weighed and valued on the traditional aspect of providing a fine dining experience through tasty food. Simply put, cooking skills are top.
If you don’t believe me, consider the way your aunt who made a fantastic homemade meringue and chocolate pie for the family reunion will look down her nose at your contribution to the family potluck of wheat thins and a plate of sliced cheese. Women in family reunions who bring the best dishes are always held in high regard. Consider a movie like Bad Moms where a woman of substantial good qualities like beautiful physical appearance and career is put in her place and snubbed for bringing a package of store bought cookies to the bake sale. Or consider the moment in Mr. and Mrs. Smith when the gorgeous deadly female hunter who checks the boxes in all categories like appearance, career, and impeccable home care and decoration is still frowned upon for her inability to cook peas.
In the 50s, they said the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. That still applies today. I cannot tell you over the years how many career women I have witnessed over the years chastised for a cooking or baking flaw.
Why do I write this? I noticed a reddit forum recently where a young woman asked older women for one piece of advice. I read through the comments and realized that some of the comments although perhaps well intentioned were faulty and counterproductive to the future success of these young women. And I hate to admit it, but some of these comments are even intentionally misleading for leading a young woman down the wrong path is a surefire way to remove her competition. Yes, I said what I said and I meant it. Some older women use a sweet facade and genteel manner to give bad advice on purpose. Consider the story of Snow White and the Queen, our very first Disney movie and a story told and retold in countless versions. The Queen wanted to stay on top. Her beauty was fading and so she used cunning to mislead Snow White.
Consider some of these comments paraphrased that I read in the comments section and how they stand against the 3 basic principles for female superiority in the animal kingdom:
1. It is not necessary for you to shave for a man. (Disagrees with Rule 2 about grooming behavior.) How many women you know that don’t shave areas of their body that don’t at least get kidded, teased, mocked, or made fun of?
2. You do not owe any man your beauty. (Disagrees with Rule 3) Although I wish this wasn’t true, consider the popularity of gossip magazines that poke fun at celebrity women for their looks or the multi-billion dollar beauty and fashion industries. How many of these women telling younger women this are out there shopping for age defying toiletries or going under the knife?
3. Focus on your career and not on these soft feminine qualities. I’ve been working for 27 years and what I can tell you is that hunting for money to bring home to your family is not enough. The women who excel are a combination of tough in their careers but also soft at home. Some women don’t know how to shut off the valve on the manager work related behavior at home and I see alot of unhappy later in life career women that have a series of unfortunate relationships behind them. And I hate to say it but this fact applies….while the cat’s away the mouse will play. When you are a career woman, you have little time and lotsa money. When you are a stay at home woman, you have lotsa time but little money. How do other women therefore, find this money? Remember you are building up your empire of gold with your man on top but you have little time to guard the gold or watch your man and he becomes a prime target for gold diggers who have nothing but time. And he’ll say something like you are not providing the attention he needs. And that is how alot of career women like the woman in Diary of a Mad Black Woman end up quite unhappy.
Gold is an interesting thing. You acquire it and work hard for it and endure great ordeals for it and stack it up and you think it will be a means to an end. For most of us, that end is love and affection. So you distribute it around to those you love and in so doing attract the envy of others. Some of these others will even result to sabotage. If you don’t believe me, study the history of Mansa Musa….the richest man to ever walk the earth. He was the ruler of the Malian Empire in West Africa. He had a huge abundance of resources including gold and silver mines. During the Middle Ages he traveled to Mecca and distributed gold and silver all along the route perhaps out of piety or wanting the love and affection of those he met on his journey. Stories of his vast empire and resources and spectacular distribution of wealth traveled from the Middle East far and wide into Eastern and Western Europe. It wasn’t long before adventurers and explorers were coming to this Malian Empire to see the resources and not long after that…..well….the slave trade began and exploitation/colonization of Western Africa.
Greed and envy will lead humans to do awful things to each other.
Only the good die young. I don’t listen to the advice often of older women. I did in my youth and was sorely played. I had to unlearn some things. Remember, if someone has made it to survival within the pack or pride into their older years, it has not been without some bending the rules or maybe even cunning, manipulation, and deception along the way. You either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain.
Now you may as a younger woman, say perhaps I as an older woman cannot be trusted either and to some degree you are right for no one does anything without some self-interest. And what do I want? What is my selfish motivation? Well, one is I want you to follow my blog or like my article…that is the obvious reason.
The other is simply good old-fashioned revenge. For what better way to out a villain that did you wrong in your youth by giving your testimony of truth?
And perhaps, if I can prevent one woman from the follies of my own naive and innocent past ruined….it will make me feel better about myself. But no good deed goes unpunished and I am certain that this inflammatory article will be diminished and denigrated. But that is often what villains will do about spoken truth. They diminish and belittle the social value of the truth teller. When a person enters the CIA, they learn white is black and black is white. This world is topsy turvy. What is viewed as good is often times bad and what is viewed as bad is often times good. Things are not as they appear. You will find that out too later…if you live long enough. But by then you will be old and the younger folks won’t listen much to your advice…and that I suppose is as it should be.