self-motivation – Creative Content

Be a Wingman – Napalm in the Morning

“You never know what battles people are facing. Be kind.” – anonymous

You ever watch the movie, Apocalypse Now? There’s a scene in the movie where the soldiers on the ground are taking heavy fire down by the river. It’s chaos. There’s yelling and gunshots everywhere and the commander gets on the coms and radios back to someone and pretty soon the scene shifts to some bomber planes off in the distance just moving in on the scene and they light up the enemy’s encampment with a huge wall of fire. I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

In life, we have a pivotal moment.

We can see a friend in need taking a beating from life and we can choose to do one of 2 things: we can come in hot and heavy for them and bring the heat or we can choose to be silent.

“Evil thrives when good men do nothing.”

You never know what battles a person may be facing in their life. In the TV show, Unbelievable, we see someone named Marie who was assaulted and chooses to tell the truth of what happened to her. She is then hit by doubt from police officers, doubt and mistrust from those closest to her, and begins to falter in life through failed jobs and failed opportunities and through internal sadness and depression.

You see, there are 2 parts to trauma.

First there is the initial battle we face in life. There is the first shock to our senses and our system. But the second shock and a shock I would argue is actually worse than death, is betrayal.

What is betrayal?

Betrayal is when we are taking heavy fire and we radio back on the coms for help and no one comes to our aid. We are not believed. We are ignored. We are told to be silent. We cannot speak our truth. We are isolated. We are mistreated. We are told to just keep going as if the betrayal wasn’t a giant knife wound straight to our heart making us question everything about our existence and our value to others and our trust.

The second level of trauma is a fate far worse than death because nothing breaks like a heart. It will take years upon years to heal this second part for the individual.

Go watch The Passion of Christ. Watch the moment, the worst moment in the movie.

It is the most sorrowful one.

It is not the actual death on the cross. It is not the scourging at the pillar. It is not the walk towards the end.

It is when Peter denies Jesus three times.

Jesus is standing before the tribunal. He finally speaks his truth knowing full well it will lead to a very painful death. Immediately, the crowd bears down on him, yelling and slandering and smacking him around till he falls to the ground. But it is not the crowd that has Jesus’ attention in that moment.

It is Peter.

Jesus takes the hits and the hits keep coming. He is bloodied and bruised and on his knees when Peter, remaining silent, hides a bit in the corner and people approach Peter not once but 3 times and say, “Aren’t you his closest friend?”

Peter gets scared. He doesn’t want the crowd to turn on him.

He says no. He is fearful.

On the third no, that is the sorrowful moment. Jesus is knocked to his knees, we think by the pummels of the crowd, but no, by the betrayal of a person he loved. He turns so slightly and looks Peter right in the eye, even as he continues to take the hits and that is the saddest part in the whole movie.

JF Kennedy’s wife was interviewed once. They asked her, “What is the best trait a woman can have as a wife?” The First Lady’s answer was loyalty. Now, think about that for a moment. Think about all the stories about JFK and Marilyn Monroe and all that and yet that still was the answer…..loyalty.

If that wasn’t the definition of a wingman, I don’t know what else is.

Sometimes we can get hurt, really hurt, by our friends and family. They can do god awful things to us. But, to come in hot, to bring the heat, to lay down a row of napalm on their life’s enemies whether physical or mental, there is no nobler thing for a soul to do on this planet.

Be a coward. Be silent. Be in the corner.

Or bring the heat.

It’s your choice really.

Me, I’d prefer to try to be a wingman. When I go to my maker and I’m asked what did I do, I can reply with all honesty, I did my best when the moment came. I went to bat for my friend, despite our differences, despite our internal arguments, etc. When the moment came, I did not shirk my responsibility to them.

We all make mistakes. We all have times in our life when we could have been better to others. But to have awareness and to not lend aid, that is a nearly unforgivable offense to another’s soul. You may not be able to do much. But if you can do even a little, it is far better than doing nothing at all.

For remember, your friend is not watching the crowd, they are watching you. When we go out on a limb, when we speak our truth out loud, we are more vulnerable in that moment than any other time. And to betray someone in their darkest hour is a far worse act than the brutality of enemies and villains.

What do we love about the story of the Red Baron? He was a dogfighter. Think of a dog. What is the best trait of a dog. Loyalty. Devotion. He’d drop outta the sky, outta the clouds, and start gunning the tail end of some bad guy blazing up and trailing his friends in the sky….one of the best wingmen that ever lived. To be a wingman is to have honor.

My grandfather died an honorable death. He was surrounded by friends and family and the military came to pay him tribute at the funeral. You see, my grandfather was the very definition of a wingman himself. At Wendling Air Station during WWII, his job was a mechanic chief to bomber planes. They’d fly out during the day on their bombing raids over Europe and at night, he and his crew would repair their planes all night long, refueling, and fixing bullet holes in the sides of the plane.

That’s what a friend does. It may not be the best job. It’s more like being Samwise than Frodo. But without Samwise, where would Frodo be?

I started donating monthly to St. Jude’s. Its a place where kids battle cancer. They sent me a letter and asked me to send 1 kid a holiday card. This Saturday, my husband and I were working up Christmas gift list and budgets. I asked him for 50 bucks to send some more cards to St. Jude’s.

You see, years ago…I was really sick and in a hospital. A friend sent me a card. In the card were just a few messages of hope and some biblical quotes. To this day…I remember, “We can do all things through our creator who strengthens us.” And I remember “For I know the plans for you…to give you a future and a hope.”

Sometimes being a friend is not really the napalm. It’s the little things that keep us going in life’s battles. Being someone’s wingman in a clutch moment…it’s a very good thing to be.

Rejection is Just Redirection

Have you ever experienced an online troll? What about a “hater” or even a “group of haters”?

(By the way, this is a great song about the whole “haters gon’ hate” vibe. To go off on a short tangent, I really love this song.)

What about someone in your environment who, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get them to treat you right? Or maybe just someone or something that leaves you drained?

Here’s some simple tips:

Take time out for you and practice self-care/self-love.
Be wise to the negative behaviors of others but hold yourself to a higher standard and do not stoop to that level.

“I am sending you out as sheep among wolves, so be as wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Matthew 10:16.

“Do not cast your pearls before swine.” Matthew 7:6. This is not to say that other people are necessarily bad. Perhaps they are not at a point in their lives that they are willing and able to receive you with love and respect. If this is so, do not waste your energy and time trying to prove your worth to them. Life is short and precious, it should not be wasted continually trying to be perfect for someone else’s expectations of you. Make your own expectations. Meet your own goals. Dress the way you want. Think the way you want. You are not unworthy. You are enough. They just fail to see the treasure that you are, even if you may appear to be a diamond in the rough. Remember, in this life, we do not know who God treasures either. Some people would be the least you would expect. Treat people fairly and stand up for yourself when you feel in your heart that you are not being treated fairly by others.

Let go of bitterness and get your spirit back. Bounce back from hardship like you’re Walter Payton. This is extremely hard. First, learn to take the L. Second, learn to forgive. Third, vow to not let the pattern repeat itself. Respect yourself enough not to allow it to happen again. Fourth, understand that what others meant for your harm, God may have intended for your good. This is called providence. It was providence that made Joseph a powerful influence in Egypt to prevent the famines despite all he went through. Providence worked in his life and it works in your life too. It’s just hard to see when you’re in the trenches. You just got to believe. Sometimes, though, we pray and pray and pray on something and it still doesn’t happen. That’s another life lesson right there. The failure, the rejection, the divorce, the bad grades, the whatever is going on in your life…..it is teaching you to first lean not on your own understanding of things but on a spirituality, and second, it is teaching you to love yourself. The full and total rejection moment will teach you to find value in you, to regain your self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth. Remember as Rocky says in this short motivational speech, “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you’re hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

Keep moving forward towards your goals. If you have to, start very small. Work on your hygiene first. Work on the way you dress. Work on your hair, make-up, style, etc. Go back to the gym or church or wherever you find positive vibes and happiness from meeting goals. Don’t let others tell you not to do these things. Do them because you need to do them to improve your self-esteem. Raise that bar first and then move out from there to your surroundings and your interactions with others. Begin, at the same time, to strip away that which does not serve you. Are there behaviors or traits you have taken on that are not good? Substance abuse problems? Addictions? Unhealthy habits? What about people you interact with that wear you down? Begin to set boundaries not just with certain people but with things you do throughout the day. Ask yourself, do I really want to do this thing or is this something I am doing because so-and-so wants me to do it? Once again, this comes back to self-love and self-respect. It is not selfish to say no. It is awareness that you need to raise the bar on your self-esteem/self-worth. Likewise, choosing to not date certain people or hang out with certain folks that bring you down…..that is not arrogance but self-awareness that you need to protect your energy. Your energy is vital to your overall health and success. So start small. Take the baby steps which can turn in to bigger steps down the road.

These are the things I am telling myself now. I too have faced a personal setback and I am re-learning this now. It is a thing I have to continually re-learn painfully. You would think I would get it the first time but no, I keep having to re-hash it over and over as I believe a lot of people do. One thing that really helps me is YouTube. Here’s some video advice from folks way, way, way smarter than me about how to do it. The first three videos are about self-love. The fourth is Maya Angelou reciting, And Still I Rise. The two other videos are inspirational pastor sermons. These are my two favorite sermons of all time that I must admit, I have to go back to again and again when “my chips are low” and I feel myself entering that defeated mindset mode. I highly, highly recommend watching these sermons! However, they are each long but packed with valuable info. I hope that you like these videos too (please share with me as well, any videos you think would help me) and remember that whatever I am going through and whatever you are going through, we are in this together and you are enough, you are valuable, you are worthy. Think like Walter Payton and bounce yourself back up. Let’s get to it!

The Opportunity to Help Heroes

I just work HR. It’s not very glamorous. All day long I help the company process paperwork. Today, I did 3 leave forms, payroll, helped with tuition reimbursement for 2 nurses, put in schedules for traveler nurses, and filled out lots of forms for helping medical staff with work comp in case of Covid quarantining. I help to ensure they get paid and get their benefits to support their families. Sometimes I screw up. But sometimes I am glad I am there to help.

All across America and the world, the medical staff are getting hit hard by the pandemic. It is not just the disease. It is the long hours, the double shifts, the struggles between work and family. It’s working extra to make sure the patients are okay. It’s holding hands. It’s not just meeting medical needs but psychological needs and basic needs like feeding and hygiene for the people they care for. It is wearisome to say the least.

I see it everyday. I see the exhaustion. I see the burnout and frustration. But I also see how hard they are working. I see how much extra they do with no thanks. I see the risks they take every day. I see them gowning up and getting N95 masks on that are really uncomfortable to wear. I see them working together to keep patients safe and bringing food trays to rooms and locking down facilities and screening visitors endlessly to try to keep the covid out. I see them getting through the winter snow to work. I see them playing music for the patients to cheer them up or doing all sorts of activities to keep the patients happy.

It’s not the big things. It’s the little things. It’s the little choices they make every day that make the medical personnel and medical admin heroes. It is getting up in the dark in the morning and getting scrubs on even though you want to call in. It’s showing up and clocking in and going through all the testing requirements from upper management. It’s showing care and compassion when they could easily turn a blind eye because they are overwhelmed. It’s a thousand little decisions made over and over day after day after day after endless day to stick it out for better or in this case, worse and worse and far worse.

It is an endless battle with an invisible enemy that keeps morphing over and over again and again. It would be easy to give up hope….and so many have. But I see in my own workplace, folks that just keep going and keep hoping and keep scheduling and keep administering and keep nursing and keep feeding patients and keep watching over them at night.

In Batman, the Dawn of Justice, there is a scene when Batman runs towards trouble while everyone around him is fleeing. You can watch it here if you want. I think medical people are like that but on a grander scale, a longer time scale. There is no fantastic explosion. Instead, it is decision after decision after decision to treat and maintain and prevent.

The choice to be a medical hero is not that simple. Watching it from the sidelines, it’s way harder than I had any idea of.

It’s countless endless decisions to not give up even through Delta, even through Omicron, even through this new Florina. It’s the internal decision to soldier on. It’s the decision to stay positive amidst adversity, as one of my colleagues said to simply, “Take one day at a time.” He said the key is to not look at the big picture but just focus on the day, getting through the day. That is the best advice I’ve gotten since working this job.

I’m honored to help them. I know I make mistakes sometimes with the paperwork and sometimes the procedures and processes can frustrate or seeing the medical staff burdened can make you feel god awful. But overall, I am glad I took this job.

I work with heroes. Real heroes. Not the kind that wear spandex and capes. And that’s not just rhetoric. It’s true. These are the real kind. I wonder what stories we will tell of them many years from now if we all make it through this pandemic.

Tonight, if you just google hospitals, you will read countless articles about the hospitals and other nursing facilities under siege. My own cousin came down with Covid in Kansas. All the hospitals were full up and they were considering life-flighting him all the way to New Mexico to a hospital there. That is how bad it is for the medical facilities right now.

If there was any time the medical staff in America could use your thoughts and prayers, it’s now.

Heroes run towards trouble even when others run the opposite direction. It’s a gut decision, a split second decision. They just do it. That’s how you know someone is a hero.

As they say in the St. Jude’s hospital commercial, “Hope is when you never give up.”

Remember, the stars shine brightest only on the darkest of nights.

Attitude Determines Altitude

Positive people manifest their future. They are not just lucky. Positive thoughts lead to positive feelings and positive behaviors which can lead to positive outcomes.

In the book Who Moved My Cheese, a scientist studies lab mice going through a maze. The scientist discovered that there were some mice that persisted in going through the maze no matter how many times their cheese was moved. Then, the scientist found that there were other mice that would get stuck in the maze when their cheese got moved. The scientist determined that the magnitude of success was determined by how much time a mouse sat and dwelled on the missing cheese.

What’s the point?

Thoughts determine feelings which lead to behaviors which lead to outcomes. Don’t dwell too much in thoughts and don’t dwell on the negative for too long.

I’ve been reading through my old blog posts and realized there was a strong positivity when I first started writing in 2019 compared to writing in 2021. Three years have come and gone and my writing goals or “cheese” have been moved a lot in that time. It’s probably the same for you.

I guess it’s time for a refresher. It’s time to get back to the basics and remember the reasons we start writing cause that can get lost in the journey as pessimism and comparison can set in.

Early on, my daughter shared this song with me. It’s called You Can Be Anything. I guess it’s a good reminder for bloggers/writers out there to stay on the lighter, more positive and hopeful side of things. Replace the I can’t do this with I can do this. Replace this will never be successful with so what if it isn’t? Most artists and writers are not successful in their lifetime but posthumously. It didn’t stop them from trying to create and it shouldn’t stop you either.

Consider for a moment that one of the most successful artists of all time, Vincent Van Gogh, who’s paintings are worth hundreds of millions now……he was not a successful painter in his lifetime and he was misunderstood and mistreated and died in misfortune. But now look at Van Gogh’s Starry Night. The world is a lot better place with his paintings…..don’t you think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRYuV2JAj00

Trending on Netflix

This article is about the first episode of the #1 trending show on Netflix called The Squid Game. Spoiler alert: If you haven’t seen the show, go ahead and skip this article. I don’t want to ruin it for you. It’s a pretty good show.

I wanted to write about the red light/green light game in the show. This is a game many of us have played as children. Perhaps it was part of our pre-conditioning to the game of life itself. In the show, the premise of the game is simple. When the rule maker calls green light you run towards a finish line. When the rule maker says red light you must freeze. If you move during the red light period you will lose. In the Squid Game episode, you don’t only lose but are “eliminated.”

There is a timer. You got 5 minutes to make it to the finish line and win. If you don’t, you also lose or are “eliminated.”

Red light/green light is the game of adult life. It is also the game scenario of any major battle in war. There are many important things you can learn from watching The Squid Game red light/green light game and I encourage you to think about it carefully.

Imagine The Squid Game red light/green light game was put in a different story. Imagine the American Civil War and the game players are required to make it across a field to the “finish line” or past the enemy. Imagine Union soldiers in uniform in battle. The red light/green light game is the story of what can happen in that battle and the quick assessments and decisions that must be made. Remember, the field of victory is won by the man of action. The field of defeat or failure is given to the man of inaction or the coward who retreats. I’ll talk about this later. There are really only three groups of people on the playing field: men or women of action, men or women of inaction (those who are frozen), and men and women of retreat (those who succumb to panic and fear). In life, it is really just the doers, the dreamers, and the cowards.

If you are young and you are reading this, which one will you choose to be? I’ll explain more in a moment.

Ok, so studying the red light/green light game carefully from the beginning, we see that the players are conditioned with fear, panic, anxiety a little before the actual game starts. They are put in a strange new environment together. They are assigned numbers and taught a few things ahead of time. They are given some time to interact together which makes them collectively question things. Right away, we see who the super villain is of the group and we see the one who is being bullied by the super villain. This will come into play later.

The contestants are run through a strange new environment that appears to consist of standing in long lines and going up levels and having to take photos to be identified. Right away, we also meet the cocky sure-fire and comedic fools who will attempt to lead right off the bat in the red light/green light game and fail completely while the others watch. Their “elimination” will drive a pivotal moment in the game when the players all realize the true stakes of the game and must decide to either freeze, progress forward, or run back to the starting line.

I would argue that this red light/green light game is like the game of adult life. Instead of 5 minutes, you are given 5 decades to get to the finish line of winning, or retirement. You must progress through the green light moments and be cautious and smart and stop during the red light moments. You must not get caught. You must not get disabled. You must not run back to the starting line of returning back home to parents after failure or returning too much to school for degree after degree or professional studentship after failure in employment or returning back to your hometown in the face of shame……etc. etc. you get the point. You only got five decades. You need to be progressing through each decade steadily like a turtle….not like the fools out front or like the hare in the Aesop Fable of the Tortoise and the Hare. Stay in the middle. Don’t be at the front. Don’t be at the end.

It’s a little bit like that other game from our childhood, that board game called Chutes and Ladders. In Chutes and Ladders, you got 100 spaces to move up to the end. You spin the wheel. Some spaces you land on will have small ladders. Sometimes you hit the jackpot and get on a tall ladder all the way to the top. But there are also slides or chutes. Some of the slides just go down a few levels. There is one terrible dreadful slide that goes all the way down to the beginning. It is super frustrating……but you can still win the game if a lot of luck is on your side and you are smart and take very good calculated risks.

So back to red light/green light….you should be making slow and steady progress like the turtle throughout the decades but there are some players who freeze in inaction early on or later throughout the game, perhaps they can’t make up their mind about life goals or perhaps when they see a loved one down on the ground either eliminated or almost eliminated. Those people can still win the game but it is much much harder for them and they need lots of luck, brains, and moxy. They gotta take big risks.

Ok so what are the other very important things we learn about the Squid Game red light/green light game as it correlates to the game of adult life. We learn that the pre-game of being in a strange new environment, standing endlessly in lines, going up levels and such…..it’s very similar to childhood or schooling. It also, whether intentional or not, serves to place panic, anxiety, and even dread in the players.

The word “panic” itself comes from the mythological creature Pan. He was said to play strange music. Panic originates from ancient times when during battles between two opposing forces, one or the other or both sides would announce their presence far before being seen on the battlefield through the use of sound or music. Imagine being a Roman soldier encountering the Barbarians of the Germanic tribes and over the crest of the opposite hill while you stand in file for war, you hear the loud beating of ominous drums. These drums are intended to scare you or make you panic long before you actually see the faces of the soldiers on the opposing side. The Barbarians would use other similar tactics to instill fear…..such as war paint or carrying creepy totems or human skulls on stakes, or carrying terrible weapons with spikes and chains and stuff.

The whole point of panic is to get half the players retreating and giving up before the action even starts and then there’s a good portion of the players that are just frozen in terror between retreating or pressing forward.

Ok, so we’ve already established that there is a pre-game that intentionally or not will get you scared and adrenaline coursing through your body ahead of time. We’ve established that on the field of play, the greatest problem you face is fear, panic, or anxiety. We’ve talked about how bad retreating is or moving away to get a fresh start in the fight or flight response or perhaps giving up on a goal and heading back to your hometown. We’ve talked about the importance of slow, steady progress that is smart. We talked about the fools out front of the pack who only serve as lessons to the rest of us of what not to do and drive the pivotal moment of intense fear or dread when they fail or are eliminated horribly. And lastly, we learn that prisoner 456 freezes in inaction for a large portion of the 5 minutes on the timer but he resumes moving forward. We learn that he can still win and cross the finish line but he needs a lot of luck, smarts, and to take risks.

But what are the really smart and strategic things we learn from watching The Squid Game red light/green light game?

We learn that family, friends, neighbors…..community or rather other people who feel devotion to us……this is very important. Remember that prisoner 456 is the older brother to the younger man in the game who convinces prisoner 456 to stop freezing and start moving forward or he will be eliminated by not crossing the line in the 5 minutes deadline. The younger brother who feels a devotion to the older brother because the older brother helped him go to college and helped raise him, returns the favor by taking a calculated risk to hide behind another player and tell prisoner 456 two important things. First, he tells him to move or he will lose or die. Second, he tells him to survive, prisoner 456 should hide behind the body of another player as he progresses forward. This is very smart.

What does this mean in the real world game of adult life?

Don’t be the fool at the front nor the sloth at the back. Hustle. Find a mentor. Find someone to get behind that can help you progress forward. Keep moving behind them as long as you can whether it’s a parent or boss or supervisor or teacher or coach. Also, stay to the middle. Be smart. Move fast on a green light. Watch for red lights and be prepared to stop long before the red light is called. Red lights in the game of adult life can be jail, bad jobs, divorces, etc. There are many avoidant behavior paths too that inactive people or retreating people engage in that can make things way worse like substance abuse or procrastination activities.

So prisoner 456 starts moving forward but he is hindered by someone that is shot and on the ground pleading for help. Also later in the game, prisoner 456 himself trips and almost falls but is saved by prisoner 199 who takes a calculated risk to be altruistic and save his life. For this, prisoner 456 will owe prisoner 199 a favor.

Calculated risks of altruism are good in the game because they can help us later when others pay back favors to us. But too much risk for a person that is really in trouble can lead to our detriment or demise even. In the red light/green light game, prisoner 456 determines the first time to ignore the bleeding man on the ground. He is already too far gone. He can’t be helped. Whether in war or life, you have to triage and do a quick assessment of who you can help and who is too far gone. Be altruistic. Develop good karma that can be repaid. But sometimes it is necessary to cut losses. I know that is harsh to say, but this viewpoint is from the perspective of winning the game. There are so many people in life that stop to help a loved one and just self-sacrifice knowing they are going down with the ship and that is their conscious choice. Eventually, they will lose the game.

In the Squid Game red light/green light game, there is a super villain and his bullied victim. As the game starts the bullied victim realizes how she can even sabotage or destroy the super villain but doing so will expose herself to potential elimination. She can easily move the super villain and she lets him know that. In life we can sabotage or out bad guys but it is important to realize that we should not lose ourselves in the process and get ourselves in trouble or develop bad karma as a result as well.

Now the most interesting player in the game is player 1. At the start of the game, it is established that he has a brain tumor and not much odds of living long. He has early trauma at the start of the game. Also, his will to win is stronger because he has less to lose and sorta a cavalier stance towards life. He probably thinks to himself, well it can’t get much worse. He leads the others in the game moving forward and he is cunning and steady. He also has almost a smile or half-crazed look about him that is sorta creepy.

What does this teach us about the game of adult life?

The best players are the ones that experienced early trauma in the game and feel like they have less to lose cause heck, it couldn’t get much worse, and their will to win or determination is very strong with almost a crazy tenacity. You will see these type of folks leading the pack in life. They went through bad, bad stuff early on. They learned a lot about life. They had to go through it to get to it ….so to speak and they have very strong drive and discipline. These are the people that grew up in terrible poverty or fought back from horrible illness or accidents or disability, etc. etc.

So morale of the story? Don’t pamper your kids. You may say to yourself, you are giving them a break and you are being kind to them. You are sheltering them from hardship. No, you’re not. You are making it way worse for them as adults when that pivotal fight or flight moment sets in and they might turn around and flee or freeze in inaction. Teach them early. Teach them while their young. Maybe you’ll give them a fighting chance. I don’t really recommend private schools and such cause they just pamper and protect kids. Put them in public school if you have too. I think Kevin Hart says it best in his new comedy show that private schools turn out soft, scared adults. To quote him directly, “private schools breed bi*****.” And well, he’s sorta right.

I think that covers everything I learned from watching the first episode of The Squid Game red light/green light game. It’s pretty fascinating psychology actually. Oh, and I guess one last point is that whatever actions you make, you will be observed by others. So make sure you make the right decisions…it may come back to help you or hinder you in the future.

So, if you’re young, please watch this part of the show and think about this admittedly long-winded review on the psychology of it. These tips can help you later in life whether you are a soldier on the battlefield or a worker at the office, etc. etc. Remember,

Keep moving forward.
Work steadily towards one goal….the finish line.
Don’t be the first to lead the fray.
Don’t be the last to follow.
Find a mentor or guide to follow.
Slow and steady wins the race like the turtle.
Don’t forget you are on a deadline.
You can freeze momentarily but don’t give up or retreat. He who hesitates is lost.
Stop before the red lights. Be smart. Anticipate the moves of the rule makers.
The only thing you really have to fear is fear itself. Panic, anxiety will ruin you. Stay calm when all hell breaks loose.
You can start over later in life but you better have a lot of grit, good luck, and brains to cross the finish line.
Don’t let the pre-game get to you and psych you out.
Don’t be pampered in your youth and don’t pamper your own kids.
Be altruistric but also triage who you can help and who you cannot.
Stay away from avoidant things like alcohol, drugs, too much social media, video games.
Those people you help in life will one day return the favor. Support your friends, family, neighbors when you can.
If you face trauma, use it as fuel to move forward not as an excuse to be disabled.
Victory comes to the men and women of action. Failure/defeat lies for the men and women of permanent inaction or permanent retreat.

Good luck and I hope you catch a lot of green lights in the game of life.

New Little Book

A story from this blog called The Firefly’s Secret is now up on Amazon and doing well. It is #10 on Amazon in baby and toddler nursery rhyme books.

The little story is on kindle unlimited and selling on kindle for 1.99.

Positive Vibes – 5 Positive Songs to Start Your Day

Here are 5 fantastic songs to give you positive vibes! Have a blessed day!

La Vie en Rose by Daniela Andrade https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ba_WoSZXvw
What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3yCcXgbKrE
Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BeKhlUzPUc
Imagine by John Lennon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkgkThdzX-8
A Million Dreams from The Greatest Showman soundtrack https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rxgAh1bnHU

Authenticity

I have found in life that the people who try hardest to please others usually have the smallest circles of friends or admirers. It is sad but true. It is not that they are fake. Often times, life experience has taught them to overly focus on the needs of others around them. This is something which must be unlearned later so they may blossom into maturity.

As I grow older in life, I release my uncertainties about the expectations and demands of others and I am more comfortable now just doing my own thing. Part of what I greatly enjoy is time spent in nature. We can learn a great deal from the natural world around us, including the sentiments found below:

The harder we try to please others and to be what we assume they want us to be, the more unattainable those goals seem to become. It is counter intuitive but it is accurate truth. It is better to have a more cavalier stance on life. As Rhett Butler would say, “Frankly, I don’t give a damn.”

So today if you are writing, try not to please others with your words….please your authentic self. Write like you’re telling a story to yourself. Besides, no writing gets perfect marks from critics. For example, the book Wuthering Heights, a fantastic work of art, was initially panned as “work of someone focused on suicidal idealization.” Today it is a classic.

Take a cue from Ricky Nelson’s song called “Garden Party.” This is a golden oldie song which some of you may have never heard. It is a good song with a good message. You can’t please everyone. Sometimes you gotta please yourself.

Garden Party

And remember there is no hall of fame for negative criticism. Here are some important quotes and such on the importance of living life with authenticity.

You Can Be Anything

I love the optimism of youth, the courage and audacity of the young. Youth do change the world and inspire the rest of us. Often times, just their presence re-energizes the middle aged and older. My daughter shared this song with me on the way to school. It is a good message for today! You can do anything, just let yourself be.

Love this song! Here’s the link:

https://youtu.be/gRYuV2JAj00

Chutzpah

In her blog article titled “Watch One, Do One, Teach One” by Carolyn Roy-Bornstein, the author writes that it is a very good to read lots of books, to write a book, and to teach others about writing. In doing this method, she writes that you will increase your abilities. She also remarks on the need for a writer to be self-assurant and self-motivated. She says a writer must have “chutzpah.” I admit I had to look up the definition of this word. It means “shameless audacity” or “supreme self-confidence.” This is a word I like very much like Demi Lovato singing the song “Confident.” It’s just got that pizzazz to it. Chutzpah.

I am reminded of the story my husband told me of Stephen King. Now this is a story and I am not sure word for word that it is factually correct but he told me that when Stephen King first started out writing, he wrote a small story and sent it to a publisher. The publisher rejected him. He threw the story in the trash. His wife came along, found the story, fished it out of the trash, and sent it to one more publisher where it was accepted. Thankfully, his wife had some chutzpah. And, that story is Carrie.

Another great story I learned about from Facebook of all places, is the story of Sylvester Stallone writing a screenplay. According to the story, Sylvester was down on his luck and almost destitute. He poured all his effort into writing this screenplay and then took it to pitch to the production companies. They liked the story but refused to make him the main actor in the movie. Sylvester would not budge. He apparently said that they could not have the screenplay unless they cast him in the leading role. Have you guessed the story yet, one of the most motivational and inspiring stories in contemporary times? That story was Rocky.